If someone you know has been affected by harassment or bullying you may be unsure how to support them or how to feel. That is okay.
Everyone responds differently. They may feel afraid or behave in ways that seem out of character or unusual to you. They may tell you what has happened in different ways, for example by making a joke, asking a question, or bringing it up in conversation.
Listen to them, believe them and offer support. Support them in knowing their options, rather than pressuring them to make choices they are not comfortable with.
- Are they in immediate danger or need urgent medical help? If they are in immediate danger or have been seriously injured, call the emergency services on 999 (or 112 from a mobile phone). Report and Support is not an emergency reporting tool.
- Find a safe space. If an incident has happened, and it is safe to do so, help them get to a place where they feel safe.
- Call Campus Security if they are on campus - 01227 823333.
- Do not pressure them to report the incident. If they do not want to discuss their options at this time, that is okay. Allow them to go at their own pace.
Listen
- Find a private place to talk and reassure them that you are glad they have told you.
- Give space for them to talk and feel heard.
- Let them take the lead. Be patient and allow them to tell you as little or as much as they want, at their own pace, without interrupting.
- Use open, attentive body language. Where possible, sit facing them at eye level, nod, and use reassuring phrases such as 'I hear what you are saying.'
- Ask before offering a hug or any other physical reassurance.
- Respect their privacy and do not share what they have told you without their permission, unless you are concerned that they or someone else is at immediate risk of harm.
Believe
- Use non-judgemental, supportive phrases such as: “I’m sorry this happened”; “This should not have happened”; “It is not your fault”; “You did not do anything to deserve this”; and “I believe you. It took a lot of courage to tell me.”
Signpost
- It might be helpful to share information about how they can report the incident or get support. More information can be found here.
- Know your limits and the support available. You can be a strong source of support, but you are not responsible for managing someone else’s wellbeing. Familiarise yourself with the Report and Support pages so that you can signpost them to appropriate help.
It might be helpful to:
- Check in with them the following day and over the coming weeks.
- Give them space to talk about what has happened.
- Reassure them it is not their fault.
- Let them know there is support available and that they are not alone.
If you are concerned that they or someone else is at immediate risk of harm, call 999 (or 112 from a mobile phone). If they are on campus, you can also contact Campus Security on 01227 823333.
It can be upsetting to support someone who has experienced harassment or bullying. Remember to look after your own wellbeing too.
You can also access support from the Specialist Wellbeing team and Student Support and Wellbeing.
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What is harassment and bullying?
I think I have experienced harassment or bullying.